Friday, November 28, 2008

WOW! The 'Black Friday' crowd beat me there!

I went to the Prime Outlets for the 'Black Friday' kickoff at midnight because they were giving away gift bags to the first 500 people. You would not believe how many people were there when I got there at 11:20p.m.!!! I must've easily been the 2000th person in line! When I got close to being inside the building, they told us that they are out of the gift bags, but if you were in your pajamas, you could still enter the $1000.00 shopping spree contest and get a lousy coupon book. How disappointing.

I stood in line for almost an hour. People were still pouring in the place! Cars were parking off the curbs, police were there directing traffic. Even an ambulance was there on stand-by. I stood waiting in my jammies and slippers for nothing.....I bought nothing. It took me 10 minutes to get out of the parking lot. WOW! I wonder how things will be at the mall at 3:30. I better get my snow globe from JCPenneys!!!

I'll update later....

http://www.primeoutlets.com/locations/hagerstown/events/successful-holiday-shopping.aspx

Thursday, November 27, 2008

My Christmas Story






Here it is, the holiday season once again. Mike and I had our mini Thanksgiving feast with all the trimmings. I am trying to get myself in the mood for the "Black Friday" shopping that begins at midnight when I am wearing my pajamas to get a gift bag. Insane? Maybe so. But I need excitement in my life!




So, to further my shopping mood, I put on "A Christmas Story". It reminds me so much of the Christmases that my parents gave to me and my brother. How absolutely magical it was to wake up Christmas morning and wander out to the family room where the most perfect tree (and a live one at that) proudly stands before me with a plethera of gifts underneath it.




My family did Christmas right! The first week in December, my Daddy would climb up into the attic to get down our Christmas decorations (and my beloved snowman box, which although it is falling apart, I will always get a gift in it every year until I die). Mom would send my brother and I to cut some fresh pine boughs from the woods across the street, which she would hang on the chandelier with some ornaments and yarn tassels to give a holiday scent throughout the house. Candoliers with orange bulbs went into the windows. As Christmas cards came in, they would be hung around the door frame.




Mom ALWAYS baked Christmas cookies. My favorite were Butter (Spritz) cookies and Chocolate Pixies. (Hmmm, now Mom and I are diabetic...). Daddy and I decorated sugar cookies with red and green sprinkles. She would store the cookies in old Charles Chips metal containers covered with wrapping paper. Over the years, we accumulated a 'kitchen tree' and hung cookie cutters, mini kitchen tools and trinkets on it. My brother and I each had a mini Christmas tree in our rooms that we would decorate ourselves. My tree belonged to my Nana, which I still have.




We would plan a trip the day after Thanksgiving to go to Williamsburg, Va to shop....way back when 'Black Friday" was just "grey". We had purchased our tree there a few times and cart it back to Edgewater. Most of my shopping was done at the Pottery Place in Lightfoot, Va. I remember, (clearly Chris, if you ever read this), that I had proudly purchased a marble seal for my mother. I was trying to figure out how to wrap it, saying "how am I going to wrap this thing?", when Chris said "What, that marble seal?" within hearing distance from my mother, who was in the kitchen. I was so upset. She claims that she didn't hear a thing, but I know she did. She acted so surprised when she opened it she could have won an academy award.




On Christmas morning we (my brother Chris and I) would wake up Mom and Dad to exclaim "SANTA CAME!!!!!". We would then gather in the family room and open our gifts. The scene in a Christmas Story is so much like our morning, with a lot of "hey, that's mine" and throwing socks over our shoulders. Almost always we would get socks, gloves and underwear! I remember a lot of the gifts I have gotten through my childhood; a pink oven, small yellow table and chairs with amish people painted on it, Fresh n' Fancy makeup kit....and one I asked Santa for and never got, a walking Mickey Mouse where you would squeeze his hands and he would walk. I asked the Santa a Parole Plaza for that one. I knew he wasn't the real Santa because he had very bad breath....Santa's breath smells like cookies, right?




Watching my parents at Christmas was just like watching the Old Man in the Christmas story (Darren McGavin) as Ralphie opened his Red Ryder BB Gun. I tear whenever I see that part. Being childless at Christmastime is very hard for me, as I want to give a child every bit of joy that my parents gave my brother and I. Christmas was always very memorable.


After we played with our toys for awhile, we went to my Nana and Grandaddy's house for a turkey dinner. Nana cooked 'southern' so her meal couldn't be beat unless she had teamed up with my Mama! We almost always got some sort of savings bond (when we were a 'responsible age'). The savings bonds helped me to purchase my house. Nana got little 'junky' gifts from the 'Purchasing Exchange' and wrapped them, such as rubber jar openers, magnets, measuring spoons and spatulas. It didn't matter what they were because it was so fun just to open all these little gifts! We always made sure that somebody got Nana some chocolate covered cherries.


We would leave Nana and Grandaddy's and go to Grandmom's in Eastport for another Turkey dinner. Nana and Grandmom cooked differently, so although it was another turkey dinner, it was different and enjoyable. Grandmom was an Avon Representative, so every year we would get some kind of Avon gift (everyone got Lip Dew, yuck, I can still taste that stuff). My ungrateful cousins would come over and snub their noses at whatever we gave them, whether heartfeltingly chosen or not. But my family was all there and I appreciated their company. Sometimes my Aunt Carol would come, or my Great Aunt Barbara.


Now things have changed and we are all grown up now. My home is no longer there to go back to as my parents and brother (and his family) have moved out of state. My Nana has left this world and my Grandmom is in an assisted living home. I miss my Christmases and I hold those memories very dear to my heart.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Blog, blog, blog (Like blah, blah, blah)


Ok, so Mom says to me "The Olympics are over, get over it". So maybe it is time to write.



Summer is over too. Knitting and Crocheting season has begun. Currently I am working on a felted witch hat. For you non-crafty readers (Yeah, like anyone reads this thing besides my mother), felting is shrinking your item that you knitted or crocheted with 100% wool so it is a tight woven "fabric-y" sort of texture to it. It is getting to the point that the rounds are becoming redundant and I am getting bored. I have been crocheting this for about a week (which is rare for 'just a hat'). I have posted a picture of what this hat is supposed to look like. I should update when I have felted and dried my own.
There, happy now Mommy?

Monday, August 11, 2008

USA! USA! USA!


I have always loved the Olympics. My most memorable Olympic moments were the glorious gold for the 1980 U.S. Hockey Team and the fabulous 1984 U.S. Gymnastics Team (men's and women's)!
The 1980 Winter Olympics were held in Lake Placid, NY (U.S.A.). "Miracle on Ice" is the nickname given to the medal round hockey game played on February 22, 1980 against the Soviet Union. The players were either college students or amateur players led by coach Herb Brooks. Herb had later coached NHL teams such as the New York Rangers, Minnesota North Stars, Pittsburgh Penguins and New Jersey Devils. He was active in the hockey field as a scout until his death in 2006. This was the debut of future Washington Capitals player Dave Christian!
The 1984 Summer Olympics were held in Los Angeles, CA (U.S.A.). I had the pleasure of seeing two Olympic Soccer games at the Navy-Marine Corps Stadium in Annapolis, MD. In Track, this is the year that Great Britain athlete Zola Budd tripped U.S.'s Mary Decker in the 300 Meter race, causing Mary to be injured and unable to continue. Zola was disqualified from the race and later reinstated after officials determined that the fall was not done 'on purpose'. The U.S. Gymnastics team absolutely rocked this year, pulling in 5 Gold Medals, 5 Silver Medals and 6 Bronze Medals, more than anyone else! 16 year-old Mary Lou Retton won the gold for the individual all-around, which had never been won by an American gymnast. And who can forget Mitch Gaylord, who invented the horizontal bar "Gaylord Flip" and "Gaylord II" which are still used by gymnasts today!
My Grandmother had gotten tickets for the U.S. Gymnastics Tour following the Olympics and it was very special to me. It was held at the former Capital Centre in Largo, MD. and featured all of the U.S. gymnasts (Mary Lou Retton, Mitch Gaylord, Bart Connor, Peter Vidmar, Julianne McNamara and Kathy Johnson just to name a few) Although I did not get to meet the athletes in person, it was a great night. Things are much different in person. The gymnasts are AMAZING!
Here we start the 2008 Summer Olympics held in Beijing, China. This is Day three and the U.S. already has 12 medals won, close ranking with the host country China who has 14. I will be watching the Diving, Synchronized Swimming, Weightlifting and of course the Gymnastics team. So, make me proud! U.S.A.!! U.S.A.!! U.S.A.!!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Real Feeling on Infertility


I can't say that I ever really "played" with baby dolls as a child. I did have a couple of Barbies, a "Talking Drowsy" doll, a Blythe doll and some Honey Hill Bunch Treehouse set. I had them, but never carried them around, fed them, tucked them in at night or pretended to change a diaper. So I guess the 'maternal' instinct was never quite there.

I remembered around age 8 or 9 talking with my friends about how many kids we wanted to have. My answer was "I don't want any kids. It's too much work".

In my teens, I never had the blessed Aunt Flo' come visit me. Not really. I had some 'episodes' but nothing regularly. I always wondered why I couldn't be like normal girls my age, but did not envy them either. They were all scared of getting pregnant. I just wanted it to happen to me, if at all only once.

In my early 20's, I discovered I have endometriosis and what is called 'Amenorrhea' http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/amenorrhea/DS00581 . I never asked for this. I have been tested for many many years on exactly just what it wrong with me and everyone comes up blank. (No it isn't my thyroid either.) At age 24 I had emergency surgery for a D & C after hemorrhaging due to 'testing my system'. At age 25 I had what is called a LEEP procedure for cancerous cells on my cervix at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, MD.

I began infertility treatments in my very late 20's. I was seeing a specialist who gave me Clomid and other strict instructions (which really over hormonalized me) and her last straw with me was to perform a Hysteroslapingogram, which was the most painful thing I ever had to endure. http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/hysterosalpingogram-21590 . This test had me an audience of 4 people in the room. It was so painful I didn't know if I should scream or pass out. My doctor (with very lousy bedside manner) said to me that "You are now a patient of the Reproductive Endocrinologist across the hall". I was devastated. I did not know what she found, or why I need to see someone with a profession I didn't understand. I was scared.

I went to see Dr. Pierre Asmar, the kindest man I have ever met. He gave me hope! I went to him and thought that I was actually going to have my dream become a reality! He took a look at my test results and said "This is no problem!" He said I have a Bicornuate Uterus http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Bicornuate+uterus , Polycystic Ovarian Disease http://www.helium.com/items/143679-polycystic-ovary-disease-pcod-symptoms-treatment and a couple of polyps that should not be any trouble and he started me on Glucophage (or Metformin) and Clomid. Well, for two months, just as before, the Clomid did nothing. Then we went on to injectables. This was a drug called Follistim which I personally (daily for 7 days a month) had to inject into my stomach subcutaneously. I had health insurance at the time, and even then two and a half days worth of this drug cost me $540.00 AFTER insurance. For 14 days following, I needed daily (at 7:00 in the morning, no less) trans-vaginal sonograms to check my growing follicles. Meanwhile, I have hope that they will grow and I will have the most precious gift that I made that nobody could take away from me. But month after month, they fail and I wipe the slate clean for the next month and do it all over again. The last month I tried I had gotten a noticeably large follicle and I got to move on to the next step which was to have a major "shot in the butt" with a huge needle. This drug was to release the follicle from the ovary and hopefully have it implant and become my well earned child.

Since I have the PCOD, I did not release that egg and it turned into a cyst the size of a baseball. Then I gave up all this "promise" and "faith". I am decidedly barren (by a power well beyond me) and I will be lonely in my old age alone, unhappy and miserable. It is so hard to be different from every other female you meet. I see pregnant people daily beaming and happy (hell, I work with most of them). I see people who talk bad about their kids when they do simple "kid things". I also see people who don't deserve to have children, who neglect them and do not take to time to nurture them into the responsible human beings God intended them to be. This hurts me so much.

Infertility in a word "sucks" (I do have other words, but I am going to keep it clean). I am clinically manic depressive. I cannot tell you how hard it is to muster up the courage to go out and face another day. My body has deceived me. Of course I constantly ask "WHY GOD?" and wonder why I was chosen. People constantly say to me "Oh, your so good with kids!" and I want to blow their heads off. I love kids, I just don't want to get to close to them. It blackens me inside. I even have the comment "You'll have beautiful children". That one makes me want to hurt myself.

So, this is how infertility feels. I'd rather feel something else.....

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Old Pets




I was sitting here pondering while looking at a pet food commercial pop up between games on Pogo for Friskies. It made me think of my first Gerbil, whose name was "Frisky". This pet was given to me by my Moms friend "Miss Donna" when I was sick. Frisky came in a metal cage with a red bottom. I loved him. Of course all good things must come to an end eventually and Frisky had died and was buried beside the tool shed out in the backyard. Over the years, it eventually became a "pet cemetery" with all my critters and fish of my childhood that I had loved.

My first dog (which I consider my sister, we grew up together) was named Ginger. She was a Sheltie. Well, an over-sized Sheltie she was. We were "pups" together. She was the best camping dog ever. Ginger would lead us down the trails in the woods! She loved UPS trucks and would chase after them. She broke her leg a couple of times chasing them. I remember her first cast, red and white wrap like a candy cane. She came home with a plastic football toy. She once bit a meter man coming in the yard to do the electric meter reading while my brother was outside playing in the dirt in the yard. That man could have lost his pants!

My mother was "attacked" by a cat in her childhood, which prevented us from having a cat until a stray wandered to our house one day. Of course I fed it and it didn't want to leave. Little did we know the cat was pregnant!! We went on summer vacation a month later. When we returned this tabby cat was laying on the porch steps with its head laying over the side of the step. I thought "Oh no, we've killed it!!". I thought "We left on vacation and it starved to death". We silently crept up upon the cat (to poke at it?) and it looked up at us like "Hey, where have you been???".

We named her "Ditty" after my Nana saying it was a "Purty little ditty buss" (I guess like Kitty Puss??). Regardless, Ditty was pregnant and blind. We would chase her around the house and she would run into walls. It was funny, although it seems mean. She eventually learned her way around.

We went on vacation (or bay-cation) to Ocean City, MD. When we got back from the beach, Ditty had given birth to 4 new kittens under the porch! One was all blonde (called her Sandy, she was my brothers), one was long-haired and all black (Sabastian - my kitty-we called him Sebby), one was grey tabby (he found a home) and one was orange tabby (he also found a home).

Sebby was also blind. He was outside and had gotten run over by Miss Maryland 1986. The accident crushed his rear end so bad. We didn't know if he was going to live or not. Since that accident cost him 8 of his 9 lives, he lived with it. You could run your hand over his back to pet him and he was so bumpy, but he was loved alot. He had gotten 'stupid' (no kidding, stupid is as stupid does). He would drool, but he was cute. He is the only cat, that even before his accident, would not land on his feet if he fell. This was the start of "indoor cats" for me.
Years go by and time led me out of my parents home where Ditty and Sebby came with. I also inherited another cat from my ex named Smokey. Smokey was let out of the house by a friend that came over and that night Smokey was squashed dead in the street. I cannot tell you the fate of Ditty and Sebby, but I assume after 18 years they are dead now. I had to leave my home and pets behind. I miss them and think of them alot.

I now have a cat named "Mr. B.". He is a torti-point Snowshoe. He is gorgeous. I love my Mr. B. so much. He is 10 years now. I had a cat named "Sunny" who was a very friendly Abyssinian. He was my lovey-cat. He had gotten let out and met his death outside on the street in front of the house. I miss him terribly. Unfortunately some people do not understand what indoor means. Cats are not people, and (obviously) do not have the sense to stay out of the road.

Currently in addition to Mr. B, I have "Miss Gray-see" (so named because she is gray, see?), 2 orange bastard children of Miss Gray-see (which is now Ms. Gray-see), "Nicky" (yellow lab) and "Abby" (black lab mix).


Saturday, July 5, 2008

I Love Fireworks!



There is something so exciting about watching fireworks. Is it the anticipation of the "boom" or the shimmery colors of red, purple, gold, green and silver that burst like sparkling flowers into the sky? Fireworks are, in a word, beautiful.

Yesterday was Tammy & Sam's "Annual July 4th Picnic", complete with Fireworks. It was a rainy day and I had my doubts about going initially. I baked my Macaroni and Cheese and headed to Falling Waters, WV. The good thing about a 4th of July picnic in West Virginia is that they are allowed to have "real" fireworks. What I mean by "real" is these are no 'ground sparklers' or 'Roman Candles'. These are honest to God BIG fireworks. I feel it is my own personal showing. Tammy & Sam have 3 acres and their backyard view is breathtaking as it is. On the horizon, you can see fireworks from at least 5 other locations.

The rain did eventually let up. There was a sprinkle here or there. Although the crowd wasn't as large as it usually is, there was still a great turn-out. A bonfire followed the fireworks and s'mores were cooked by all.